I'm Back!

What's up people? Yeah, I'm lame, and don't update this as much as I should....blah,blah
So my last post I was in Chicago. I stayed in Chicago a couple of days, and headed up to Green Bay WI. I stopped at another state park along the way and then into Green Bay. Nothing too exciting to report...did a couple of in-store tastings, and then did a tailgate party at the Green Bay vs. Cleveland Browns game at Lambieu Field. I'm not a football fan, but they had an extra ticket, and it was super-fun. The picture above is me in front of the stadium.
I left Green Bay, and had a few days off. I went back down to Chicago, met up with Josh and Wonah again, and went to see Beck at the Riviera. Beck fucking rules. What an awesome show! It rocked the donkey's ass and then some.
My next stop was Indy, but I still had a day to spare, so I drove into Columbus and surprised my parents. I hung out with the family and had a good ole' time.
Indianapolis was the next scheduled stop, and I arrived on Thursday night (9/22)
The event in Indy was Cah-razy! We stayed at the same Kroger for two days, doing a free cookout for the public. I pretty much ran the grill for two days, cooking at least 200 hamburgers, and hundreds of hot dogs. Good times.
I left Indy last night, and I'll fill you in where I'm at now in my next post.
Thanks for still checking this lame-ass blog.

Holy Crap

What a crazy weekend. On Thursday of last week, I started a marathon weekend, and haven't had time to update you all...all 5 of you. So here it is in a nutshell...
I started Thursday at 8 am. I then proceeded to do 5 in store promotions. Basically, I set up a table, put our promotional items on it (magnets, lapel pins..etc) and then talk to people about yellow tail wine. Each in-store lasted about 1-2 hours, then I pack it all up, and drive to the next store. So on Thurs, after doing 5 stores, I had to drive an hour north to a restaurant promotion. This was actually alot of fun, because we were able to do a tasting. It's illegal in Michigan to do an in-store tasting, so those were pretty boring. I met the local reps. at the bar (who were totally awesome) and conducted a tasting. We poured alot of wine, and gave away alot of t-shirts.
At the end of the night on of the women asked me where I was parking the rv. I told her I planning to stay at a Meijer store, and she insisted I stay with her and her husband. I followed her home, and her husband helped me back it in to their backyard.
We stayed up late drinking, and had a rockin' good time.
We had to be at another store at 8:30 am, so I followed her there and tried to wake up a little.
On Friday, I did 5 more in-stores, and then had to buy all of the food for Saturdays tailgate party. On Sat., I did 3 in-stores in the morning, and arrived at the Michigan state game at noon. The tailgate party was super fun. I grilled all kinds of food, and made alot of people very happy. We left the parking lot once the game started, and headed over to another bar for a tasting promotion. I left the bar at 10:30p, drrove another hour back to Detroit, and went grocery shopping for Sundays tailgate.
Sunday rocked. I arrived at 9am, set-up, and grilled all day...I was invited to go to the game, but wanted to get on the road.
So last night I drove to Chicago, and here I am visting my good friends Josh and Wonah. I have to be in GreenBay WI on thursday, so I'm going to stay here until Weds night.
That's it.....not a funny post, but informitive I'm sure.
More to come.

OK to trap

I left Sterling State Park yesterday afternoon. Before I left, I remembered the sign on the way in and decided to set some traps. I might be back in the area in a few weeks, and am hoping to have enough pelts for a new winter coat. After CAREFULLY setting my snares, I headed out to Ypsilante MI. I arrived at a Walmart, and set up camp(raised the TV antenna). There was a Blockbuster next door, so I rented Sahara. I later learned it was not a wise choice. I organized PYT, and went to bed. Today I did laundry, and spent most of the day trying to find a locking gas cap. It's fucking impossible to find one that fits this RV. Not only is there a locking-gas cap shortage....the one I need is even harder to find. I'm not even sure how many people have had their gas stolen....I don't know of anyone. But it seems like people out here anyway, are RUNNING to get the gas cap that locks. I'm now parked at a Meijer store outside of Ann Arbor, awaiting my first event in the morning. The other picture up there, is where I'm at now...check out my parking lot yard! Fuck yeah! I'm going to borrow a lawn mower from the store, and mow it tomorrow. Oh...because of my REO hat story, I was invited to join a REO Speedwagon group on Yahoo. Awesome.

Sterling State Park

I was having trouble posting pics last night, so here are some more of the lake and what-not. If any of you are wondering how I connect to the internet.....I have a cell connection, and sometimes I don't get a signal. The nuclear towers are freaking me out.

The story of the hat

I have to be in Ypsilanti MI (outside of Ann Arbor) on Weds. Night, which is not far, so I found a state park on Lake Erie, and decided to head in that direction.
This morning I realized I lost the hat. This is a big deal to me. Dad kind of watched me as I franticly searched PYT. I kept saying..”I know it’s just a hat…but I’m sad…and PISSED!” He understood. He told me of a pipe lighter that his older brother had given him. I never met my uncle Charles. He died of a heart attack before I was born. It was a major shock to my Dad’s family…very sad. Anyway…he lost the lighter, and still thinks of it….30 years later.
I wrote REO speedwagon a fan letter in 2nd grade. My brother Brian and I LOVE REO. Don’t laugh….”can’t fight this feeling anymore” is a cheesy ballad, and is NOT a proper representation of the great rock and roll band that they are. Anyway, I wrote the letter and was mailed a merchandise catalogue as a response. I was thrilled! They wrote back….in catalogue form! We each bought a hat, t-shirt, and poster. I still have the hat….had.
So I was REALLY upset about the hat, and while driving I tried to trace my steps during the last moments with the hat. It was the shower! The free shower at Sapp Bros.! I wore it to the shower, but I had it under my arm when I left. OK…calm down I thought…it’s a long shot. While driving I called the Sapp Bros., and explained the situation. The nice lady put me on hold, and said she’d check the lost and found. She got back on the line and said…” Yeah honey, it’s right her under the counter!” No fucking way. Hoorah! Hoorah! I gave her my LA address, and she agreed to mail it to me….I’m going to mail her the postage costs. I LOVE YOU SAPP BROTHERS!!!!!
In 1988, my sister Mary and I went camping in the Smokey Mountains. I wore the hat the entire time, and on the way home…in front of the Chillicothe state prison….the hat flew off of my head, and out the window onto the highway. Mary insisted on stopping and picking it up. She turned around, and we found it! I risked my life that day….out there on the highway…all alone. I’m dangerous. But we found the fucking hat! I love you Mary!! And I love you hat.
I rolled into the Sterling state park a few hours ago. I managed to get a spot right on the lake! Hoorah! There are nuclear cooling towers across the lake, and it’s kind of creepy. Maybe I’ll get a super-power….or impotence…whatever. I must eat now, so bye…if you are reading this……I found the fucking hat!!!

If you still have one, call your Dad

What a great couple of days. Yesterday (Sunday) I left the Sapp Bros. (The GREATEST truck stop EVER!) Sun. morning, and made my way to Strongsville OH. I chose Strongsville, because my Dad and I planned to meet up, and that town is at the intersection of I71, and I80. I arrived at a pre-determined Wal-Mart at around 2:00, and proceeded to organize the RV. Oh….I named the RV…her name is…PYT. You remember the song PYT….you know you like it. It stands for “pretty young thing” if you didn’t know…and it also stands for “purty yellow tail”….I know it’s cheesy, but you don’t have to put up with me all day…so shut it.
Anywho…Dad showed up on his bike (pictured above) and we walked over to a BW3’s (a wings place) and had burgers, and like 12 beers each. What a great time. Not much after that…we both passed out.
This morning we woke up early, had coffee in PYT, and talked for a couple of hours. Good times. My Dad is awesome…He’s 67, still rides a motorcycle, participates in “Iron Butt” events (a marathon motorcycle club….he once rode 24 hours straight…and he’s ALWAYS the oldest guy), and loves to have a good time. It’s nice to know your folks as an adult, and actually have fun with them as people. He loves Elvis, Willie Nelson, and has been proud of being a redneck waaaay before it was fashionable…..you know, like before people were wearing trucker hats on Melrose Ave. After a quick photo session it was time for Dad to go. We said our goodbyes, and he left….boo-hoo. I love you Mom and Dad!

My new wheels

The tour has officially started. I flew out of LA at 10pm on Friday night, and arrived in New York at 6am. My boss picked me up at the airport, and we drove up to Medford NY to pick up the RV. I still hadn't slept(I had to sit in the middle seat on the plane) but wanted to get on the road. I finally left at noon, planning to just get out of NY and sleep. Despite not sleeping I felt great. I kept driving, and lost track of time. I made it to Clearfield PA (consult a map if you like) at 6pm, and parked at Sapp Bros. Truck stop. This was one sweet truck stop! The toilet stalls were like a huge closet....very private for massive trucker-shits. I took advantage of my good fortune, and left the Sapp Bros. a large gift. After all of that excercise, I needed sleep. I woke up this morning and went in to take a shower. The nice lady said she wouldn't charge me for the shower, and that there were towels inside. The shower was a nice little room with a sink, shower, and lots of BIG towels.....big, fat, trucker sized towels. I got some coffee, thanked the nice lady for the shower, and got on the road. I'm now in a Walmart parking lot in Strongsville OH, waiting for my Dad. He's riding up from Columbus today on his motorcycle for a little visit. He'll stay in the RV (which I haven't named yet...any suggestions?) with me tonight, and go back in the morning. That's all for now......more later after papa leaves.

I'm off

I found out about 2 hours ago that I'll be leaving tonight, instead of tomorrow. I'll arrive in New York tomorrow morning, pick up the RV, and then head up to Michigan.
Not much more to report, so here is "An open letter to George Bush, by Michael Moore."

Friday, September 2nd, 2005 Dear Mr. Bush: Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag. Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with? Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her! I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike? And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ! On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that. There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland. No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this! You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit. Yours, Michael Moore MMFlint@aol.com www.MichaelMoore.com P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st